Dear X (You Don't Own Me)

So, I find that it is all too easy to fall into funks where we hang on to all of the junk in our lives. All of the mistakes, bitterness and rage can accumulate and ultimately dictate who we are and make it impossible for us to be who we want to be - who we are meant to be. This is the state of mind the song Dear X (You Don't Own Me) by Disciple put me in.

The song runs like a letter to an ex. Like some series of bad break-ups, Pain, Shame, Hate and Anger pursue that which they once controlled.

The song opens with something of a nostalgic look at the days when all was good.

Dear pain, oh, it's been a long time

Remember when you were holding me tight

I would stay awake with you all night

Dear shame, I was safe in your arms

You were there when it all fell apart

I would get so lost in your beautiful eyes

Dear hate, I know you're not far

You would wait at the door of my heart

I was amazed at the passion in your cries

Dear anger, you made me so high

You were faithful to show up on time

Such a flame that was burning in your eyes

It is so easy to fall into wallowing in the pain we feel or the shame that we hold onto. It is just as easy to get swept up in hate and anger when we feel wronged. These feelings can direct us to do things that are ultimately destructive to ourselves and possibly others. Why do we do this? Why do we believe the lie that if we follow these basic instincts all will turn out fine?

The verses of the song end with the phrase:

I let you go

But you're still chasing

The truth is, there is no way to escape these feeling indefinitely. We underestimate them by calling them mere feelings. They are weapons, pure and simple. The truth is, there is an Enemy, he is unseen, and he can manipulate us like puppets. He doesn't use knives or guns, he simply suggests a few simple notions and watches the destruction. That is the nature of these feelings.

The chorus proves a great reminder about what power he really has:

Go ahead

You're never gonna take me

You can bend

But you're never gonna break me

I was yours

But I'm not yours anymore

Oh, you don't own me

Go ahead

Put a target on my forehead

You can fire

But you've got no bullet

I was yours

But I'm not yours anymore

Oh, you don't own me

These emotions, these weapons, only have as much power as we give them. They will always be there, often when you're at your weakest. Just remember, we don't need these feelings, rather they need us.