Light Up The Sky

Have you ever had that feeling where you know you need to keep moving forward, but you are unsure as to where forward is? I feel like that's where I'm at right now. Actually, I feel like I have been moving towards this point for a while now. I've had it as a goal to go to grad school for some time now and today I met with an admissions advisor at the U of MN for this. Long story short, the fact that my GPA is less that stellar, when combined with the fact I have extensive research experience has put me as a definite maybe for grad school in general. So at this point I'm not sure what to do.

It is at this time when nothing makes sensethat I find the song Light Up The Sky by The Afters so encouraging.

When I'm feeling all alone and so far to go

The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home

When the night is closing in - is falling on my skin

Oh God will you com close?

When stars are hiding in the clouds, I don't feel them shining

When I can't see beyond my doubt the silver lining

When I've almost reached the end, like a flood you're rushing in -

Your love is rushing in!

This is basically how I feel right now, and precisely what I need to hear. One trap I fall into easily is the notion that I can do anything my own way. I just forge ahead because something looks right to me. Not that this is new, every bit of popular culture seems to seems to scream this message.

The heart of the song lies in the chorus:

You light, light, light up the sky

You light up the sky to show me you are with me

And I, I, I cant deny

No, I can't deny that you are with me

You've open my eyes

So I can see you all around me

You light, light, light up the sky

You light up the sky to show me

You are with me

It is such an amazing thought to know that we never have to walk through anything alone. I know that while I feel like I'm following a compass with no needle, it'll work out. I know for a fact that my life so far is proof of this and I know I will not be deserted when there's still so much ahead of me. So, just a thought to keep in mind is that no matter how dark the night may seem, the dawn is coming.

Dear X (You Don't Own Me)

So, I find that it is all too easy to fall into funks where we hang on to all of the junk in our lives. All of the mistakes, bitterness and rage can accumulate and ultimately dictate who we are and make it impossible for us to be who we want to be - who we are meant to be. This is the state of mind the song Dear X (You Don't Own Me) by Disciple put me in.

The song runs like a letter to an ex. Like some series of bad break-ups, Pain, Shame, Hate and Anger pursue that which they once controlled.

The song opens with something of a nostalgic look at the days when all was good.

Dear pain, oh, it's been a long time

Remember when you were holding me tight

I would stay awake with you all night

Dear shame, I was safe in your arms

You were there when it all fell apart

I would get so lost in your beautiful eyes

Dear hate, I know you're not far

You would wait at the door of my heart

I was amazed at the passion in your cries

Dear anger, you made me so high

You were faithful to show up on time

Such a flame that was burning in your eyes

It is so easy to fall into wallowing in the pain we feel or the shame that we hold onto. It is just as easy to get swept up in hate and anger when we feel wronged. These feelings can direct us to do things that are ultimately destructive to ourselves and possibly others. Why do we do this? Why do we believe the lie that if we follow these basic instincts all will turn out fine?

The verses of the song end with the phrase:

I let you go

But you're still chasing

The truth is, there is no way to escape these feeling indefinitely. We underestimate them by calling them mere feelings. They are weapons, pure and simple. The truth is, there is an Enemy, he is unseen, and he can manipulate us like puppets. He doesn't use knives or guns, he simply suggests a few simple notions and watches the destruction. That is the nature of these feelings.

The chorus proves a great reminder about what power he really has:

Go ahead

You're never gonna take me

You can bend

But you're never gonna break me

I was yours

But I'm not yours anymore

Oh, you don't own me

Go ahead

Put a target on my forehead

You can fire

But you've got no bullet

I was yours

But I'm not yours anymore

Oh, you don't own me

These emotions, these weapons, only have as much power as we give them. They will always be there, often when you're at your weakest. Just remember, we don't need these feelings, rather they need us.

Hero

I think there is no other word in the english language that resonates more with me than Hero. From a young age there were spandex clad superheroes abound to look up to, and now as an adult seeing them re-imagined by hollywood makes me as nostalgic as a 22 year old can be. Thinking back to what my rapidly developing, sugar-ridden mind perceived as a hero, there were a few elements that struck me as profound. Strip away the super strength, laser vision and the fun gadgets and what do you get? One element that seemed to always bleed through was the notion of doing the right thing, sacrificing even, for the sake of others.

Where exactly is this going?

A few weeks ago I was driving to work when from the radio poured a song that made me mentally take a step back and reflect. The song was Hero by Abandon. In short it is the story of Jesus' life in 3 minutes and 45 seconds. The story itself is nothing new; it has been available in English for several hundred years to anyone who wanted it. However the way Abandon portrays the story is nothing like the 'Cotton Candy Christian' music that has become prevalent on the airwaves. By 'Cotton Candy Christian', I mean that it is good, but lacks substance.

The song is incredibly simplistic in terms of instrumentals, primarily just the piano, some stings and a bit of drum (as opposed to the more instrument heavy songs more common to this Christian Rock band). But there is nothing simplistic about the message.

Of the two verses the second struck me the hardest:

He spoke with clarity

And walked across the sea

A single word would calm the storm

His touch could heal the sick

But was called a hypocrite

Maybe I missed out

His death was surely mourned

He left the curtain torn

Think about it. He came with such power and authority that even nature obeyed him. He could cure illness with just a touch, or even a word. All this power, all this proof of who He was, and He was still denied the honor he rightfully deserved. The notion that He was who He said He was and the possibility that He could do what He did was deemed impossible, just some trick.

The closing chorus runs:

There he goes

The hero

The savior to the world

Here he stands

With Scars in his hands

With love

He gave

His life so we could be free

The savior of the world

What a perfect picture of what Christ was and is to this world. He was a hero. No. He was THE hero.

In our culture of being so independent, we do not rely on heroes like we did when we were kids. We always knew that if something were to go wrong someone would save us, be it Superman, a police officer or a parent. We grow up and realize Superman is just in the comic books and on silver screen. Police officers may be able to help if you're in danger, but what about emotional hurt? Parents, while they may be willing to do everything in their power to help, are still only human and thus run the risk of letting you down. So, we take on the mentality that there are some problems that can faced alone.

The truth is, we need a hero. If Jesus was able to conquer the forces of nature, sickness and even death, couldn't he be more than enough of a match for anything else? Its so easy to forget this. This song is a perfect reminder of who He was and who He should be to us.